No Balloon Animals Today, Dear...I Have a Headache

My kids have been feeling a bit under the weather the last several days, and as they are typical of most kids their age, the quickly tired of lying around watching cartoons all day. So...being the crafty mom that I pride myself on being, I scrounged through my closet and boxes full of craft goodies in seach of some inspiration. A light bulb went off in my mind as I came to a bag of mixed sized balloons. Ya know..the ones that you buy and then are annoyed to find tons of those long skinny balloons that are REALLY hard to blow up. I grabbed a couple of those and told myself that today is the day that I would learn how to make balloon animals. So, after several attempts and a few softly muttered creative oaths, I managed to product two really cute looking balloon weenie dogs! I was so proud! My 4 year old was impressed and my 2 year old was in love with hers. She carried it around on her shoulder all day saying "cute puppy!" Well, the next morning they were feeling a bit better. This is when a certain incident occurred that reminded me of a lesson I have learned since the birth of my daughter 4 weeks ago. Lesson being: It is physically impossible for ONE mommy to watch THREE kids simulataneously at all times. Alan and I attempt to keep the door to our bedroom closed 24/7 simply because there are things in there that the kids don't need to get into. And when I say kids: mostly I mean the 2 yr. old. She is notorious for playing in my makeup drawer (several months ago she decorated my room and herself with black mascara -- Thank God I don't use the waterproof kind!!!), getting into her Daddy's work stuff (ie. running the battery down on his maglight and police radio), and getting into any bottles of lotion or shampoo that should be lying around our master bathroom. Well, that particular morning I was trying to get Princess ready for her Kindergarten, get Baby Bug fed and changed, and get myself dressed when I lost track of Bugga-Bugga. (I swear they should come with tracking devices). Anyway...I knew I was in trouble when I didn't hear her. I quickly buckled the baby into her swing and ran down the hall towards my bedroom. Oh crap! Alan had left the door open when he stopped in to get some equipment he had left. Great! Not knowing what mess I would find when I turned the corner...I took a deep breathe and told myself to remain calm. I walked in the door...and didn't see anything. Didn't smell any strong lotion/shampoo scents...didn't see any mystery stains around the room....the makeup drawer was closed...but I also didn't see any 2 yr. old....until I walked around to Alan's side of our bed. She was sitting in the floor playing with...with...OMG! She was playing with a box of condoms that she had found in the headboard...and had ripped one open. I called her name and she jumped a little guiltily before turning to face me. Then, with a grin...she held up her prize. "Look Mommy!!!" she cried... "BALLOON!!! Make Puppy???"