Time Flies and So Did I

Last minute gift buying,
Only 2 hours to spare.
I have on no makeup,
And I haven't brushed my hair.
With two little rugrats,
It's hard to be neat.
Oh, to heck with the touch-ups...
I have clock hands to beat!
Strapped the kids in their carseats,
And we're off like a flash.
Thank God for my charge card...
I'm all out of cash!
We arrive at the department store,
And stumble inside.
My one-year old is hungry...
"COOKIE" she cried!
Oh Great! Now her sister,
Is wanting one too.
As I did through my purse,
I hope this lollipop will do.
Down the lingerie aisle,
Past bras, hose, and thongs...
That go in your butt-crack,
Oh man! That's just wrong!
Past purses and jewelry
On our way to the men's clothes.
Where after an hour,
A warm-up jacket we chose.
Finally, we check out...
Charge it! I said.
Then we wrapped it, delivered it,
Ate dinner, and went to bed!