I Just Don't Get It

Why is it that men seem to think that when they say "I Do" they no longer have to say "I love you" and "I want you?" I was a virgin on my wedding day and I often end up asking Alan if he wanted me until he got me and now he doesn't want me anymore. I know that's really not it, but I do get frustrated. He doesn't get that I need to be more than just a Mommy and a Maid. I need to feel valued...to feel that I am important enough for someone to spend 10 minutes out of their 24 hour day listening to what (if anything) I have to say. My husband gets home from work and I apparantly am the fartherst thing from his mind. I understand that he works 12 hour shifts and deals with idiots all day. I get that. Really. But when he gets home, I have been dealing with two toddlers all day. Feeding them, chasing them, cleaning them, playing with them, entertaining them, teaching them, protecting them, kissing boo-boos, wiping tears and wiping bottoms. Yet I still take time to stop what I'm doing...go sit in whatever room he has migrated to, and ask him how his day went....what he did...who he talked to...what about...what went well...what went wrong. Then I fix his supper, feed his children AGAIN...give them baths, brush what few teeth they have at this point...and tuck them (often times kicking and screaming) into the bed for the night. By this point I'm exhausted and ready to turn the "mommy" switch off. Usually as soon as the girls are in bed the "work" mode kicks in and I sit at my computer for an hour or so trying to get some work done while it's quiet. Alan is watching tv anyway and not paying me any attention. At some point while I am working, my husband migrates from the den to the bedroom where he continues to watch tv. Sometimes he tells me he's going to bed in which case I usually immediately turn off the computer and join him. Most of the time though he doesn't say anything, and I think he's still in the den until I cut the computer off only to discover that not only is he in bed, he's asleep without even telling me goodnight. I have to take his glasses off his face (he wears contacts all day and takes them out when he gets home) and cut the tv off. Sometimes he wakes up and talks to me for a few minutes, but gets mad at me if there is something I want to discuss. He wants to go to sleep, he doesn't want to talk to me. But I haven't seen him all day and he hasn't bothered to make time for me. He does play with the girls when he gets home and pays them quite a bit of attention which I am grateful for. But I'd like to be worthy of a few minutes of his time as well. I don't think that's too much to ask. On the rare occasions that we do mangage to go to bed at the same time...if there is any affectionate activity partaken in, 99.9 percent of the time, I am the one who initiates it. About 70% of those times I'm rejected. And it's not just my husband. Sometimes I feel like life is going on without me and leaving me behind. No one seems to have time for me anymore. Not my husband, my mother, my sister...or my friends. If I call...I get put on hold, or they say they'll call back and don't. I swear I'm not a nasty, annoying person. I just don't get it! I am thankful for all that I have and count my numerous blessings daily. My "treasures" are stored in Heaven and not here on earth. My desires are emotional and not material. Does that make sense?